金曜日, 7月 29, 2005

Too Busy
I pick up the phone and dial your number.
It rings and you pick up,
after what seems like an eternity.
I smile and ask about our meeting,
you groan and say you are busy.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

A tear tembles on the edge of my eye,
and my face falls drastically.
I softly ask for an explanation,
and yet I get none.
(It feels like a bad breakup)
You groan and say you are busy.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

I blink back my tears,
and scold myself for being so silly.
Getting excited over a mere meeting,
after seven months.
I'm so silly aren't I?
A hand pats me on my shoulder,
a voices tells me to cheer up.
Too busy.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

I look at you,
and you turn away.
What have I done?
What did I do?
I have done nothing.
At least not to you.
But you won't listen to me will you?
You're busy.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

Be there for you?
I always have and always will be.
But do you need me?
I don't think so.
You never come to me.
Why don't you want me?
Am I so wrong?
Why can't you need me like I need you?
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

Do you know me anymore?
Do I know you?
I really can't tell.
Can you?
I don't exist because I've moved away.
Is that it?
I'm so disappointed.
Can't you tell?
You're busy.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

I made plans for today.
Cancelled celebrations and activities.
Set my heart on seeing you.
And showing you things you never knew.
Seeing how much each other has grown.
Doesn't that matter?
I wanted to surprise you with a gift.
But I see you don't need it now.
It is oddly comforting that I threw it away.
You always are, and I'm always a pain.

go away. Leave me alone.
You already have.
I don't want you anymore.
You threw me away a long time ago.
Remeber our future dreams?
The way we promised to be friends forever?
Right now, all that makes me laugh.

I know you're not going to ever read this.
It's alright.
I don't need you to apologise.
You never have anyway.
I have always been the clumsy one.
The one who was always getting you into trouble.
I'm sorry that I'm disappointed over the barberque.
Disappointed in you.

This poem is for Desiree. (Even though she might never know about it and never see it.)

Maybe I'm exaggerating. I'm not really sure. But this is the way it feels right now.

*written @ 7:53 午後.

土曜日, 7月 23, 2005

I am currently hooked to my Marion Raven CD. I always listen to a CD until I can memorise every single song. Mad eh? Haha...

gabriel beh owes me two dollars and refuses to pay me back! Why that evil little bastard... If he says he can't pay me back because of whatever, it's perfectly fine! But he pretends that it never happened! What the ...!? When I asked him it, when I was quite broke, he said :"How can you anyhow say people owe you two dollars?! I can also say you owe me ten dollars!" Seriously, why would I owe him ten dollars? For that matter, why would I owe anyone ten dollars? And he just refuses to pay me back. That ingrate! That fucking asshole! How dare he! That disgusting little maggot! I am only this vulgar when it comes to him. For now on, in my eyes, he does not exist. He is just a little worm which is not worth my time and energy. Which is not even worth for me to look at him.

Anyway, today Dunman hosted the thumbs-up program. It was so fun! Except that the minister and his entourage shaked hands with everyone in the atrium except me. So nice eh? I didn't know I was invisible, did you? I had to stand in the atrium like an idiot for 2 hours. In court shoes! In long sleeves and tie! Did you know how hot it was?! I kept getting ignored by the guests, till I was about ready to throw a tantrum.

But after the duty, I went to the hall to watch the show. Jessea came to sing! He voice is super powerful man! And she is so pretty! Those people who say that Dunman choir sucks, go soak your head in acid or something! They sang "There can be miracles". It was super nice. The entire hall was silent in awe. That was how big the effect was. There was also this rock group called Orange. It was way hyper man! Hahaha... Sabrina and I were jumping like crazy.

Anyway, I am damn pissed with gabriel. One of these days, I will write a poem about him. =D Wait for it!

*written @ 8:48 午後.

月曜日, 7月 18, 2005

Well, a couple of days ago, while stupid Mr Cheng was scolding the class for no reason again, I had the inspiration for another poem!

My English Teacher
As I sit in the classroom
in the sweltering heat,
I feel entombed.
Why wouldn't he stop?
I had no idea.
Was he trying to make me blow my top?
He kept yelling in my ear,
until I really could not longer hear.
He was such a sight,
with his clothes so disgustingly tight,
until only stupid came to mind.
His english was so wrong,
and yet he boasted that he was so strong.
It made me want to barf.
I hated him so,
This fucking asshole.
My english teacher,
Andrew Cheng.

How's that? Good eh? Whahahaha... I was writing it as he was scolding the class.

You know what? I hate my school! I hate most of the teachers and I hate the principal and the classrooms, and the council room and the home econs room and how they have a lack of a track.

They always say that as soon as you move to a new school, you should live by the new values and be a part of it. I have been in the damned school for 2 1/2 years, and I am still very very much more attached to my primary school instead of my secondary school.

Let me tell you why:
1. The uniform was way nicer! And my skirt could be long without looking disgusting.
2. The teachers were much much nicer and friendlier!
3. One did not get scolded for no reason.
4. Didn't have to tuck in shirt. (It was a pinafore)
5. Nice recognised shool logo
6. Nice classrooms! Well- ventilated and the floors had granite tiles, and each class had our own visualiser
7. No rules about ear-sticks
8. No rules on ankle-socks (Really!)
9. No attire checks
10. No super long assemblies (I have to stand for an hour!)
11. Nice tables and chairs (I didn't have a broken table or chair for 6 years)
12. Track!
13. Could have sports day in school
14. During special events, we could go home earlier not later!
15. Nice canteen (clean)
16. Relatively nice food
17. No need to wait outside staff room when looking for teachers
18. Had chapel every monday (Could relax)
19. Had nice cool table-tennis rooms
20. Had a room specially for the computer club
21. Had a way nicer science lab (My school building during my time there was older than my secondary school one now)
22. No horrid bitchy rumours spreading everywhere
23. Ended school at 12.50pm
24. Had an eco-garden!
25. Had nicer music rooms (note the s!)
26. No cases of stealing
27. Students were well instilled with values
28. Had a nicer colour blazer!
29. Had a nicer choice of books in the library( Maybe I'm childish, but its better than reading Roald Dahl everyday)
30. Had nicer art rooms!
31. Had a huge parade square
32. Nicer PE equipment! (No rackets with busted strings!)
33. Nicer school jacket
34. Better AV rooms!
35. Nicer dance studios! ( We had polished teak flooring)
36. Better pianos
37. They had PL badminton rackets
38. Had nicer fun fairs!

See... Mrs neo should be so ashamed

*written @ 5:49 午後.

金曜日, 7月 15, 2005

I am dead tired. I have no idea what I did, but I am super super tired. Hm... Maybe it's because I've caught someone's stupid cold. I feel headachy and I'm feeling cold.

Something bad happened today. After being in this stupid stupid school for so long, today was the first day I got scolded really really bad. I got scolded for the stupidest reason. Again! And... it wasn't my fault! What is wrong with this people?! *Sigh* I really don't wanna talk about it. So, don't ask alright?

I was really moody today too. Must be that time of the month again. Can't stand it. So tired, stomach pain, headachy. Argh. Don't know what is wrong with me. I got scolded till I started to tear. I know I was a wimp. But I just couldn't help it. I just started tearing!

Moody and slightly depressed.

*written @ 10:32 午後.

木曜日, 7月 14, 2005

Lets talk about hair shall we? Everytime I get scolded for letting my hair get to long, I ask the question with no answer. Long or short? Hahaha... It sounds like a silly thing to be a mess about, isn't it? Well.... I'll have to agree that it is. You see, if I wanna trim it, I have to do it soon. Before it gets too long, till I can't bear to.

Now, having being short haired for most of my life, I despise guys who adore girls with long hair. Tell me, when you watch the Miss Universe pageant, do you see any of the women who do not have long hair? No right?! Are they implying that women with short hair cannot be considered beautiful? The bastards.

What is with long hair? Is an unwritten rule of womenhood or something like that? Who ever came up with an incredibly stupid rule like that!?

*written @ 8:35 午後.

水曜日, 7月 13, 2005


Your Beauty liesin Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even yourappearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may lookinnocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the sametime. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit ofeverything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with theguys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost adifferent person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you knowexactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. Youenjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable youare.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, LightTones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette

Gemstone:Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Red Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by http://www.quizilla.com/

*written @ 5:00 午後.

火曜日, 7月 12, 2005

Look at the sandals! Look! So pretty right? Haha... They're so nice! I just love shoes with ankle straps! I was really bored one day, so I went to all the shopping websites. I came across this at Victoriassecret.com. So nice right? *Beams*
Let me explain why girls like to buy shoes so much. Because... Shoes are the only thing you can wear without being afraid of being too fat or skinny! And you don't have to fit it exactly. Also, shoes can go with practically anything! There are all kinds of shoes around. Shoes can also make a difference to your whole outfit. Silly though it may seem, shoes can make a girl feel really pretty and confident about herself.
Now, do you know why guys do not get why girls like to buy shoes? Because, all guy's shoes look almost the same! At least to me. They can't have strappy sandals (like above) or like nice shoes. They are just..... just shoes! So boring.
So is the mystery of the shoes...

*written @ 6:12 午後.

木曜日, 7月 07, 2005

I have just finished watching Singapore's Brainiest Kid. Guess what? It was hilarious! Wahahahaha... All the kids look super nerdy. What happened to the good-looking yet smart kind? Actually, if you asked me, I wouldn't say that they were very brainy. Who on earth picks topics like current affairs on the first try? But I am quite impressed with this girl's mathematics mind. She can think really quickly! Faster than me at least. And it's primary school maths! I am such a disgrace. There was also this girl, when asked what habour did nemo's father turned up at, in the movie Finding Nemo, she yelled :"Pass!" Excuse me?! That was like super duper easy! How could she not know? Even my 3 year old cousin knows the answer. *Sheesh* What happened to having fun and watching movies? And Finding Nemo wasn't just any movie, it made every movie critic give it a standing ovation! Book smart? Absoulutely. Street smart? I don't think so!

*written @ 8:58 午後.

火曜日, 7月 05, 2005

Water Sprite
Mysterious, elegant, creative and calm. You are a sprite of the Water. Creative and one of
the most beautiful of sprites, you strike
wonder and curiosity into the hearts and minds
of all. Even though you are capable of
attraction and seduction you are way above all
that, you understand the true meaning of life
and are very open and understanding of life's
mysteries, most likely you are one of them. You
are respectful of all ways of life and do not
judge one due to their position or station in
life. You are gifted in the ways of
understanding and given the chance are usually
full of good, wise advice but your not the type
to take the stand and express such things. Your
laid back nature can be troubling, you don't
take many risks and prefer to keep things as
they are. You are one of the most unique of

.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

*written @ 4:44 午後.

土曜日, 7月 02, 2005

Yesterday my hamster died.
It’s eyes squeezed shut
And its fur matted and dried.
What was I to do?
I had no idea.
Where was I to bring it to?
I couldn’t help but cry, cry, cry.
Till my eyes were sore and dry.

Suddenly, the truth leaked out.
I couldn’t help but give a shout.
My mum had left it in the sun.
Where she thought that it would play and run.
I looked at my poor winter white,
With its eye squeezed firm and tight.
I sobbed and sighed and sighed again!
But it did nothing to ease my pain.

My mother was a murderer!
Never again would I forgive her.
A dagger stabbed straight through my heart,
When she said my winter white was just a pelt.
I had loved my hamster so,
And had tried to protect it from every foe.
“I love you my dear winter white.”
I whispered as I held it tight.

She offered to buy another one,
To please her only beloved son.
“You’ll never replace it!”
Screaming, as I threw a fit.
I felt so sad,
And yet so mad.
So I left her feeling bad.

This poem is for Clarence. Whose poor Hammie died this way. He deserves some credit too because he was my inspiration for this poem. I was really excited when I wrote it and wanted to show it to him. But I was afraid that he would kill me. Was I insensitive for writing this poem?

I have received another request for my updated perfect boyfriend list. Haha... I guess lots of girls want to use it as a guideline to finding their next boyfriend. Haha... Poor guys. Anyway, the guys can use it as a guideline for themselves too! If, they happen to be reading this. I’ll start from physical features to character.

Shuai (I am horribly allergic to ugliness)
Taller than me (Just tall enough so that I can wear heels and not be taller than him. But, I seldom wear heels. So...)
Nice hair (I refuse to go out with guys with awful hair.)
Soft eyes (Sweet...)
Straight teeth (Imagine having to face an ugly smile)
Abs (I think that guys with nice abs are cool)
Nice hands (I like people with nice hands)
No long nails (Guys and long nails do not go together)
No chicken legs (It’s just weird if someone is just top heavy)
No piercings in the tongue, eyebrow, lips and nose (I find them gross. A few in the ears are fine. Just as long as they are not too big or too many.)
Muscular but lean
Should not weigh less than me (Really not good for my ego. But as long as it doesn’t show too much, I’m flexible)
No ugly tattoos (And armband or tasteful ones are fine)
Best to be tan (Too white look like ghost)
Sensitive (not too sensitive)
Keeps my secrets
Not too possessive (I need my space)
Offers to carry stuff for me (Even if he thinks that I might refuse)
Best to have music background (Can play for me)
Best to have a nice name (Don’t you think it’s weird to go out with someone called like... I dunno, Bin Min?)
Cannot discriminate against girls with short hair (Don’t think that I dunno a lot of guys do that)
Must remember my birthday (Don’t need to give anything, but it’s nice to be wished)
Must give me a gift on Valentine’s Day (Being forgotten on that day is incredibly saddening)
Must like to watch movies (Cause I like to watch movies)
Best to be from a boy’s secondary school (More mature and loyal in relationships)
Best to be smarter or as smart as me (I need him to tutor me! But I’m flexible on this)
Cannot have too many past girlfriends (Doesn’t reflect well)
Cannot be too mushy (It kinda makes me feel a bit sick)
Never be afraid to tell me off (Only if I’m wrong)
Never interrupt me when I’m speaking (I’ve had enough of that)
Allows me to pay for myself sometimes (I’ll feel bad about making him pay all the time)
Never tease me about my lack of stamina
Best to be pretty well to do (How else will he be able to afford me? Haha...)
Have patience to bear with me when I’m moody
Must like to swim (Can play water with me)
Never asks me what I want as a present
Cannot scold me for reading too much manga (It’s my thing alright?)
Must love animals!
Must have style (I refuse to go out with someone who dresses sloppily when I am dressed better)
Knows the importance of a hug (I like hugs)
Never take advantage of me (I believe in sex after marriage. Unless I conclude that I am never going to get married)
Cannot say that any girl is prettier than me in front of me!
Must have good taste in jewellery (When I see the stuff my friends receive from their boyfriends, I wanna scream cheapskate. If he wants to buy jewellery for me, it at least has to be from perlini’s)
Cannot tell me that the stuff I buy is too expensive (He can only tell me if it is worth it to pay that price or not)
Stay away from me when I’m pissed
Be afraid of something (I don’t like people who pretend that they are not afraid of anything)
Never force me to watch scary movies (I’m afraid)
English speaking (I am super strict on this)
Cannot give in to me all the time
Must send me home sometimes (It’s lonely to go home yourself)
Christian (pretty strict on this one. No need to be baptised)
Must buy nice chocolates (If he wants to give me chocolates. Best to be from Royce! Haha...)
Cannot be too vain
Must be punctual (I am always on time, and I hate waiting)
Cannot be too a bad boy (Like those kind that are always in trouble)
Cannot be a mummy’s boy
Have a nice complexion (e! Pimples)
Best to have a nice voice (haha...)
Cannot lie to me
Must have common sense!
Cannot be a nerd

Well... I believe that that’s all for now. Haha!

*written @ 6:19 午後.