土曜日, 9月 30, 2006

Jie's house warming was.... boring. Seriously! When I arrived at the house, I was greeted by the sound of immensely loud cantonese (did I even spell that right?) yelling. *rolls eyes* And greeted by the sight of... A house full of people I didn't know. Hm. Interesting.... Not that I expected to know anyone, but my idea was that if I didn't I would sit in front of the TV and watch myself silly! Or, in the event of that being impossible, I would hog the computer and watch youtube all day. *nods nods* Good plan yeah? But! People were hogging the sofa (my beloved sofa, if I may add) and the computer had no internet. *sighs* So I spent like hours walking around, exploring the neighbourhood.

What a neighbour it was! Hahaha... It reminded me of my grandma's house when I was still teeny weeny. All the dark "ulu" stores which sell everything! And the old provision shops that sell the ice in the tube thing for $0.10 that we all ate even though it was way unhygenic. Hahahaha.. So old school! Oh. There was a shop and save too! WITH DEAD SKINNED FROGS STICKING OUT OF THE CONTAINER. AHHHHHH! *cries* Hate frogs. Hate frogs so much!

There was a line on livejournal that was very true "Guys with suits are hot!". Hahahahaha... Well... true when applied to certain guys anyway. =X Just love it when my boys wear suits! *grins*

Strawberry sex. Just freaking love that song! =)

*written @ 9:46 午後.

金曜日, 9月 29, 2006

Will someone's parents please call the school and tell Mrs Neo that her secondary 4s are on the verge of dying of exhuastion?! If you're not, I am! Like, I'm spending my whole day in school! I barely sleep... Even when I do sleep, I wake up feeling as drained as I was before! Give me a break!

*written @ 9:45 午後.

木曜日, 9月 28, 2006

OMG. Addiction to J.J Express! Kei Inoo and Yuto Nakajima!

I know I'm crazy... I am actually considering doing a degree in Tokyo University (Since learning it is 14th in the world). Just slap me will you?! Like I'll be able to... *rolls eyes* It's going to cost a bomb. But I still wanna teach english in Japan! *slowly dreaming* You know, I was looking up this international school, and seeing that all the students looked japanese, I wondered "International what?!" Until I saw the teachers. -.-" Then it dawned on me! The teachers are international! Ah... Makes sense no? Hahaha...


*written @ 9:16 午後.

水曜日, 9月 27, 2006

*Looks at recently bought WINK UP magazine* (I hope to be able to read it without romanising every single word and check them up manually in a dictionary one day) Eh! Who is this horribly unpretty girl?!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

This is Saki Fukuda. She is... 16, (born on 9th sep 1990) her height is 155 cm, he chest is 79 cm and her feet are 23 cm. The internet has everything! It's just a matter of looking. -.- DOESN'T SHE LOOK FREAKISHLY OLD?! My gosh... Like, I'm 16 and she's 16 and I'm older than her and she looks like... I dunno. OLD. *nods nods* And she looks strange, since her hair is orange-y and her eyebrows are black. Weird... AND I THINK THAT HER HAIR IS NOT NICE. Hummphs... Not implying that my hair now is very nice... but! I do not have a professional stylist to do my hair for every single picture I take. 155?! She's so short! (Cassie is shorter, but at least she's undeniably perfect!) For a singer/actress she is short. Like hello?! I think I'm short and I'm taller than her! (Oh and she should pluck her eyebrows thinner... She looks like she's frowning all the time) So short! *tsk tsk* Damn. I should've been born japanese! Than I'll be the tallest girl anywhere. *sigh* Why on earth are her boobs so big?! Did she like get hormones pumped into her the moment she was born? Well... I guess if you have big assets, you have to be short. It's one or the other I suppose... *thoughtful* Have nothing to say about her feet though... Hahahaha.

DID YOU KNOW? That the hottest average temperature in Tokyo in summer is 26.5. The HIGHEST. Ah... THE SWELTERING TOKYO HEAT MY FOOT.

Well... I know that I shouldn't critisize the way people look but... In the world of female, I can! *laughs evilly* Now, if only my hair would grow and someone would get me a hair straightener. I love doing stuff like this! Boosts the self-esteem since I am now all pimply and eye-bagful due to studying all the time. =)

*written @ 8:41 午後.

日曜日, 9月 24, 2006

[Ya-Ya-yah] 2004-06-20 Pranks on Taiyo (Eng subs) [4/4]

AH. SO CUTE. SO SMALL. *grins*

*written @ 5:01 午後.

金曜日, 9月 22, 2006

Yuto sang "Let me touch your euphoria!" Hahaha.. Cracks me up just thinking about it.

*written @ 8:44 午後.

木曜日, 9月 21, 2006

I have discovered the joys of J.J express! Yuto ( the freaking cutest 13 year-old I have ever seen) has a song called DNA. In the song, there is a line that says something about touching 'your euphoria". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Euphoria is a greek word for fertility. I wonder... how on earth could they let such a cute kid sing a song about touching someone's fertility?! Oh! And I wonder who's the dumbass who wrote the song. *rolls eyes*

I got my hand sliced by a beaker today! Not my hand, hand, but more like pinky, hand. *laughs* Ah. But it was so pain ok... And the cut was so deep that it wouldn't stop bleeding for quite a while. *nods nods* Haha!

Here's how I broke it:
1st layer: 2 wooden rulers side by side.
2nd: a calculator
3rd: an overturned beaker
4th: a piece of wood about 8 cm thick
5th: an upright beaker filled with water.

Since we were trying to balance a metre rule with weights at the ends on this stupid thin little metal piece, I was rather occupied with trying not to let the ruler fall. One weight was submerged in the water (part of the experiment and there were so many layers because the stupid weight was too high from the table top!) when the ruler fell. So.. obviously, my entire tower fell. And I'm not sure how, but my finger got cut damn badly.


*written @ 9:30 午後.

水曜日, 9月 20, 2006

I heard them. The very moment I stepped into the house, it's was like an acid rain thunder storm. It burned. "Stupid! You're so stupid! You get do anything right! You don't belong here. Stupid stupid stupid stupid.." I heard them. The voices. Even when I was trying to kill my brain with music, they manged to echo into my mind. It seemed, that even the walls hated me, the words bounced off the walls, the floor, the very air that surrounded me. Voices, voices everywhere. LEAVE ME ALONE! Why won't they just leave me alone? I know I'm stupid, I know I can't do anything! Leave me alone already... Stop it. STOP SAYING IT!!!

Go away... Just go away! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. Stop telling me the things I already know. Stop telling me that I shouldn't have been born. Haven't I gone through enough?! I know I live a cursed existance, I know that I am abandoned. So... just. Stop. Stop it already. WHAT MUST I DO TO MAKE IT STOP?!

I tried to be shut it away. To seal it in the back of my mind. I forced myself to smile and try again, and again, and again. WHY IS IT NOT ENOUGH?! Even the walls in the house I cannot call my own taunt me. Even I taunt me. I can't take it anymore... Go away. Don't touch me. Someone make it go away!

Please... Just please. Enough. Make the voices go away...

*written @ 9:35 午後.

火曜日, 9月 19, 2006

This week has been hell. No wait. Today has been hell, yesterday was pretty much fine. My prelim results suck. That's right, they suck. Come on! Jie is right! I am incredibly stupid and no amount of effort I put in is every going to give me results. So... let's go celebrate.

I didn't mean for it to turn out this way. I really didn't! I tried. I really did! Why can't anyone understand? There is only so much I can do... I'm sorry that I can't follow her Hwa Chong footsteps and I'm sorry that I ever looked up to her as a role model. I CAN'T DO IT. I just can't. I have nothing to be proud of. Talent-less, useless, brainless, annoying, that's what I am. Everytime I get my results back, I get called stupid and useless. Which is true I guess, because I did try very hard. I am out of those "Nevermind, I didn't really study." excuses, because this time I know I did! There is no next time! This was my one chance to get out of this place and I blew it. I would rather die than stay here! I hate it here. Since I've given up having a religon, I have no one to blame and scream at except myself. I've been wondering how to put this, but since I'm on the topic, I am no longer christian. I have... no religon. It's just better to not believe in anything. I failed my family, failed God and failed myself. See? There's just no point.

What's the point of belief? No one believes that I am actually capable of doing something right. When something goes wrong in the house, I always get blamed first, regardless of what it is. Hell, I can't even believe in myself. You know what? My parents should have named me disappointment. That's what I am anyway. I CAN'T DO IT. Stop telling me in your own sick way that I can! The more I hope, the more painful the fall. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to try anymore. Leave me alone to wallow in my own stupidity.

There used to be this nice optimistic voice in my head that I once thought was God. It always told me that everything was going to be all right. I HATE IT. Last week, I decided that I would seal it away in some dark, dusty coner of my mind and never listen to it ever again. That liar! Nothing is alright! NOTHING. There is no more second chance, no more hope.

I'd rather die than stay here and I mean it.

*written @ 4:35 午後.

月曜日, 9月 18, 2006

Have you ever wondered what it's like to look into the water and see your reflection? It's said in books, in movies, in every methaphorical instance, but! I question, who has actually looked into water and seen their reflection? Face it, we live in the place where souls come to flake off and disappear. *nods nods* A place where chlorinated water is everywhere, and apparently, so is idiocity. So. Who were the people who said that you can see your reflection in the water?

During the chinese going through session (I failed my chinese prelims!), I came up with a really logical argument. We all know that the stuff we learn now is complete crap and is never going to help us anyway. Besides, the world is most possibly going to die of global warming or something like that anyway... So! I think that it would be very nice we were given a full anylasis of the benefits of studying the supposed subject. Not a stupid, just for people to see analysis, but a complete, detailed one with the reality of learning the subject. Like, who can think of a realistic benefit of learning additional maths? The disadvantages are uncountable! To name a few: Terrible memories of exams, 2 hours in hell and back, Waste of brain space... blah blah blah. Need I go on?

Imagine that. When Yabu and Hikaru are 20, I'll be 20! They'll be somewhere along their second CD and possibly be freaking rich, and I'll be in university. In short, they'll be stupid and happy and rich and loved by millions of women around the world, and I'll be... insignificant and poosibly slogging my brains out for a law degree, but actually have a full education! Now, why the hell does their reality seem so much nicer?

*written @ 8:21 午後.

木曜日, 9月 14, 2006

You know the thing about my blog hitting me in real life that I hate? Yeah. Josiah is doing it right now. *rolls eyes* I seriously think that he needs to get sensitvity software installed somewhere! I mean, do not ask me questions about what I say on my blog. My blog and my life are like separate realities. I would like to continue thinking that my blog is a place where I can write feelings and discuss stupidity (or bastardity) openly, words that cannot, I repeat, CANNOT clash with real life. If it did, I would actually have to tell the person that he/she is the bane of existance and just think of how much trouble it would be to fix it. *tsk tsk* Point is, just read it and keep all comments far, far away from me.

*Sh... * Can you hear it? The gentle rustling, the urgent calling. The soft beating of feathered freedom. I like to imagine freedom as something on sheer white feathered wings. *smiles* It's pretty that way. PRELIMS END TOMORROW! *yay* Finally! Can watch TV and not stare at books all day!

ARASHI: Baby, it's only the beginning. *laugh*

*written @ 2:34 午後.

水曜日, 9月 13, 2006

It's kinda scary to even think of the future. Since I am so apparently going to flop my prelims, and there will be no Australia and I'll have to be stuck here. Hell if I'm going to put up with it. If I can't go, I'll like go swallow lots of pills or something like that. Better than staying here. Anywhere is freaking better than here! (Cept maybe India.... but oh well...)

The future, the future... I don't know! I can't think of anything. I want to move to Japan! Er... After I learn to speak understandable japanese that is. *smiles* And and and! I want to teach english in an all boys senior high! *delusional* It'll be way cool to teach at Horikoshi High! Yes. I even know the school Ya-ya-yah goes to. Stop thinking I'm a stalker. *glare* But... Horikoshi high is not an all boys school. I want to teach at an all boys school! An all boys school like the one in Hana Yori Dango. Now, won't that be fun?

Or.... I want to be a kick ass lawyer! Or a fashion designer! Or a stylist!

Why do I sound like it will actually work out?

*written @ 9:06 午後.

月曜日, 9月 11, 2006

[Fanvid] Threesome, Lice and Puppies

*written @ 2:22 午後.

日曜日, 9月 10, 2006

KAT-TUN Jin's Date on KAT-TUN x 3

ADRIANNA!!! LOOK!! HAhahahahahahahaha...

*written @ 4:19 午後.


Today, I will be having dinner with my sister's in-laws. Not looking forward to it. Not. At. All. *shakes head* I can't stand it when people are so sarcastic towards me (to quote: "Wah! See people came in never call Uncle, Auntie." When I did.) and I can't be sarcastic back. Dang. Don't you just hate it when you can't do what you're good at? I would have paid like 5 bucks to be able to say "Technically, I did. And if your brain obviously cannot connect to your ears can you please blame it on yourself and not me?" Then again, I can't. To quote: "What would people think of the way Mummy brought you up?" Damn. Hate it when she takes that out. I'm not going through another round of stupidity tonight! Please let me say something back if it happens again... Please? I promise I'll make it as quick and as belittling as possible. Please?

Anyway, someone once said that it's better to regret doing something than to regret not doin it. Hm... Randomly, the things that I have never regretted doing are getting braces and learning how to play the piano. Imagine, if I hadn't put my braces, I would be stuck with distorted teeth and thankfully, I can barely remember the teeth before my braces. *whew* Although, at one look, everyone can tell that I've worn braces. Hate having big big teeth. And piano, I love banging on the keys when i'm in a bad mood! Everyone hears it and stays away. Isn't it great?

I'm wearing my glasses now. -.- Or rather, was wearing my glasses. I put them on and immediately took them off again. I prefer the blurriness.

Oh oh Ueda!

*written @ 12:24 午後.

土曜日, 9月 09, 2006

kat-tun - jin learning english

HA! Car scrimp! That is sad...

*written @ 5:01 午後.


Ueda Tatsuya - Love in Snow [Live in Kaizokuban]

This song is so sad... *sighs*

*written @ 4:51 午後.


I wonder... Can I sue the irritating person upstairs?! He's always drilling something, and for some reason, that drilling only takes place when I happen to be home and trying to study! It's so annoying and it's giving me a headache. *cries*

I think that Cassie has been spending way too much time with me. *Nods nods* She has a display picture that has Yabu and Taiyo on it and says "My OTP (only true partner) has awesome underage sex." *laughs* It's funny if you get the drift. However, I think that the only people who will get it are Cassie and Adrianna. *rolls eyes*

I adore livejournal! It's so... FUN. They have the coolest and most disturbing user pictures! *squeals* It's really fun to keep changing them and irritate Josiah with the kissing ones! Hahahaha... Know what this means? This means that due to the large amount of time spent with Adrianna, I have been nursing a fetish for intriguing photo-shoped pictures that feature guy on guy. =D Hahahaha. Call me sick but looking at that is way WAY better than watching Yamapi kiss his un-pretty girlfriend in Stand up!!

If the drilling doesn't stop in the next 15 minutes, I will go up and strangle the guy.

*written @ 12:18 午後.

金曜日, 9月 08, 2006

There's just something in me that isn't sure. It doesn't revolve around anything, but it just... isn't sure. Nothing I ever do comes back with the right results. Is there truly a place for me? Despite having an over active imagination, I cannot bring myself to imagine the future. Really? I'm afraid. Every single dream I've had has turned to dust. All I can see is the future crumbling in my hands. "You're no longer a child" they say. Was I ever? I cannot remember the carefree-ness, the so-called freedom. Then again, maybe it's because I only remember the terrible things. How can I not? Happiness is like a group of butterflies that fly away soon after they arrive. Cruelty is the fire that burns itself into your memory.

I anyone but me were to spend a day in my head, they would be dead the next. Voices, voices everywhere! All they ever do is ask me for answers I cannot give. It's driving me crazy. Somehow, I can't imagine having any other head than mine. Ironic isn't it? It urks me that some people, who are the same age and unfortunately the same spieces as me appear to be so... Oh I don't know.... Urksome?

Just rants... I'm nursing an addiction to KAT-TUN and Ya-Ya-Yah.

*written @ 1:09 午後.

水曜日, 9月 06, 2006

Akanishi Jin, Ueda Tatsuya - Real Face

Call me sick, but let it be known that Adrianna sent the link to me. *nods* And isn't Ueda (the one who is not singing) the prettiest thing?

*written @ 4:32 午後.



Look! Look! Hahahahahahahaha... *starts laughing crazily* Now I can blind everyone with them! *yay* Adrianna was so nice to do this for me! *claps in glee* So happy! Yes. I live and breathe japanese teen idols. It's the only thing that's keeping me insane enough to think that studying actually matters.

Did I mention I love Adrianna?

*written @ 9:13 午前.

日曜日, 9月 03, 2006

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Hahaha... I just felt like posting a picture!

*written @ 1:08 午後.

土曜日, 9月 02, 2006


Once again, I find myself searching aimlessly for one of my school books. Which have happened to be placed under a huge pile of bags in an obscure cabinet that I hardly ever open. How did it get there? I have no idea. I very clearly remember leaving it on a table as I suffer from leave everything on table syndrom. So. How did it get in the stupidly obscure cupboard when the book contains 2 years of hard work? I don't know. Maybe it grew wings and decided that it wanted to nestle in the presence of my only once used Christian Dior bag. WHAT THE HELL. This happens all the time! Why must Linda keep touching my things?! And when I ask her where it is, she gives me this "how I know" face and asks "Where did you put it?" Which tempts me to yell back "HOW THE FUCKING HELL WOULD I KNOW?! I DIDN'T PACK IT AWAY FROM MY VIEW!" I like to leave my things on tables because I feel better if I can see them in full view as I move around the house. But... no... SOMEONE HAS TO MOVE THEM INTO SOME TEENY TINY CORNER. It causes me to panic and get worried because I cannot for the life of me find my book. My book in which my future relies on. It is not a matter of getting a new one because I have 2 year worth of notes in my books.

I need post-its. I will stick one on all my books with the words " May the hand of the one who touchs this book be forever cursed if the person is not me." She should understand right, since she so apparently went to university.

*written @ 1:30 午後.