水曜日, 8月 31, 2005
*/

That, people, is Katie Leung. The hottest teenage star making her debut in Harry Potter this year. I don't like her. Haha... But really, what amazes me is, the number of hate sites she has on the internet. Haha... Get this, all the members are female. Hahahaha! Why do they hate her? Well, it is because she gets to kiss Daniel Radcliff! What a reason eh? If they are so desperate for harry potter, my school has a lookalike. I get to see him everyday. Anyway, I don't like her because, producers are trying to pass her off as asian! Look at her! She gives a bad name to asians! For example, she isn't really asian, she lives in Scotland! What person in his right mind would migrate to Scotland? Her hair isn't even black! It has blond streaks in it. The unique thing about being asian is that we all have naturally black hair. We should be proud of it. And what is she wearing? It's just wrong! She is like 17? And she is wearing that?! What is with the weird logo on the coat? She looks like she just arrived in her little prim and proper school uniform. If the producers wanted someone asian, they should have actually held their auditions in Asia. Where did they hold it? In London. Who can afford to go to London just for an audition. Katie Leung is not even pretty!

SEE?! She's not pretty. Her nose is funny and her lips are weird. Plus she has fat cheeks. I wonder what drew producers to this girl. They should have gotten a classic chinese beauty or something. Someone who actually has nice features and black hair. Who has nice high cheekbones and no fat cheeks. She may not be able to speak with the accent, but at least she will be nicer to look at. And will actually be asian. Like Fann wong, Jackie Chan, Lucy Liu and Zhang Ziyi. They are proud that they look asian. Not like some weirdo who can't even pass asian standards of beauty.

*written @ 6:18 午後.

月曜日, 8月 15, 2005
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Today is one of those days in which I completely cannot stand council. Sabbi and I have to write a proposal! On the department problems. We have to hand it up tomorrow. But we only got to know about it today! Of all the...

There is also the problem about the council notice board. *Sigh* Jasmine (I really cannot stand her) insista that it be done by the end of this week. Which is quite quite difficult/ if not entirely impossible. Why? Cuz the sec ones cannot come in if the notice board is not ready! What a stupid reason. But I know I cannot give it up like that. The sec 2s are so looking forward to having mantees. Argh! Sabbi and I are only free on wednesdays. And we will need to collect council fund by then. Which is totally completely impossible. Which means, I have to pay first! *Growls*

Argh! This is driving me nuts!

*written @ 8:56 午後.

日曜日, 8月 07, 2005
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You are a fallen angel of persecussion. You have
fallen because of your mind becoming
increasingly disturbed and dark. This has
happened because of what you have experienced
in your life. Things that have happened in your
life have been painful and difficult to
tolerate which has left you suffering. Your
soul is slowly decaying as you somehow cannot
escape what's happened. You are beingining (or
you havn't already) to lose hope that things
could get better.

Quote:
"Life hurts more than death. When you die
the pain is gone"

Element:Night
Emotion:Anguish/Depression

What type of Fallen Angel are you? [beautiful + dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla


Me? Distubed and dark? Well, maybe. But only when I'm alone. With is quite often nowadays. Sometimes I feel that when I have too many people around me, I get a headache. Everyone chattering all at the same time, it's quite painful. Take yesterday for an example. I had to go to school to do duty for speech and I&E day. And Wei Ming is still angry with me! Nevermind. He'll forgive me. Eventually. I hope.

Anyway, I had to do registration. I love doing registration! You never have to do much. There was a break in-between speech day and I&E. Kelly, Sabs, Goergiana and I were supposed to go eat at TM. But Miss I'm-now-the-president-means-that-I'm-greatest had to insist on talking to people to see who the board of directors should be! It was super irritating. I was trying to nap on a chair but it was way too noisy. I couldn't stand it, so I went inside the ex-co room. Where I could be alone with my own thoughts.

I have no idea why I want to be alone so much these days.

*written @ 2:40 午後.

金曜日, 8月 05, 2005
*/

I shall ask a question alright? Here it is :"Who likes awkward situations?" Hm...*Looks at a sea of people shaking their heads* No one right? So... Lets all ignore the awkward situation all together shall we? *Looks at sea of people nodding heads* Lets not pick up the phone and call someone who you have known for the past 11 years because of an awkward situation. Come! Lets all learn from this. Lets blog-talk forever alright? Since you don't want to be faced with an awkward situation. Which I have already said I will grudgingly accept. Lets let this awkward situation clump up forever! How does that sound? Good? You don't want to face it anyway. And I have already said that I will not make the first move like I always do. I am so very sick of it.

I had a relatively good day today! Well, except for the fact that I accidently let something that Wei Ming didn't want anyone to know out. *Bangs head on table* Why?! Why do I always slip up? It is so frustrating. Next time, I will tell people not to tell me anything you want me to keep a secret. Unless I'm not paying attention to you that is. I can't believe I actually let it slip! I admit that it was irresponsible, horrible and extremely careless of me. I'm sorry Wei Ming! Really! Don't be angry with me can? It so saddening to have people angry with me. I'm really sorry! I didn't mean it!

I actually sat down and quite enjoyed assembly today. Hahahaha... Well, I usually have to stand for about 1.5 hours. With a bad back. Isn't the school just incredibly horrible? It was nice to be able to sleep through assembly for once (You can't sleep while standing). After assembly, the stupid teachers made us push all the tables and benches to the area near the basketball court. It was so heavy! (I was carrying a table with Fiona)

After that, Eileen and I went back to class to continue cutting the shirts. I am very sick of shirts! And sick of Miss Thong scolding us all the time! Argh... I was feeling a little hungry/thristy. So, Eileen and I went to buy bubble tea! I still like bubble tea! I drank mine half-way till I didn't want it anymore (I'm always like that). Gabriel Soh pain me $0.50 for it! Haha... As he was drinking it so happily, I decided to disgust him a little. I said :"You know, when you drink from a straw that someone has already drank from, it's an indirect kiss." It didn't work. He gave me this rubbish of how it's just like eating protein. Since we were on the subject of kissing, Ee hong asked me with surprise :"You haven't had your first kiss?!" Obviously, I haven't. But to my horror, Liang Hao has lost his already! *Gasps in shock* Liang Hao has lost his innocence.

Liang Hao, Ee Hong and Gabriel Beh and I went to buy the stuff for the class BBQ on Monday. (I am not going, but I decided that it would not be fair to the class if they had to eat rubbish food) And with me along, they don't! Hahahaha.... Not that rubbish anyway. The good thing about going with guys is that they never let you carry the heavy stuff. So I only ended up carrying only a carton of eggs.

Liang Hao, Ee Hong and I plonked the stuff at Gabriel's house and went off to loiter. We spent like 3 hours under the void deck near school talking. 3 Hours you know! We met Neilson, who kept teasing me about me being the only girl! Hummph. After spending 3 hours babbling rubbish, we decided to go home. Ee Hong walked me to the bus-stop. (Mumbling something like "It would be un-gentlemanly to leave a girl to go home by herself." Excuse me?) At the bus-stop, I had to try to ignore everyone's teasing about me. Rather irritating.

*written @ 9:08 午後.

木曜日, 8月 04, 2005
*/

Since I am very good ignoring things, I will ignore my conflict with Des for the time being. Usually, when I have a quarrel with someone, I will be the one who apologises. Well, this time I won't. The poem was merely a discription of what happened and my feelings at that time. I have done nothing wrong and I am free to feel the way I did. It is not my fault that people misinterpret it. As usually, it is only the poet who know what he/she is feelings. I will not say anything about the post on Des's blog as that is what she interpreted (If someone can say something with support from the source, it is not wrong. But I wonder, where is that edvidence?) and what she felt at that point of time. I will respect that and if I have anything to say, I will say it to her clamly and over the phone. However, I would just like to say that I am no longer upset or angry over this incident. I will not say that that writing the poem and expressing my feelings was wrong as it is my right to do so, and it is my duty to be true to myself. I like to reflect over things. So, I have concluded that this incident is trival. I am tired of always having to make the first move to set things straight. Therefore, I will wait for Des to have the time to give me to call. If she wants to talk about things she will. And if she doesn't, she has either forgotten my number or has forgotten me. In both cases, I will just be silent and accept it. Just as I have grudgingly accepted everything else.

I feel a strange empty feeling inside. A hollowness, a numb kind of feeling. I realise that no one understands me. It's not really surprising, as I don't even understand myself. I don't know why I can't accept life as it is. Devoting myself to exams and the never-ending quest for the perfect future. I just can't. I need to ask questions need to know why I have to suffer so much when other people are so happy. I cannot bring myself to see why I should change my socks just because Council says so. What is it anyway? I refused to be controlled. The only person who can tell me what to do is my mother. I am like wildfire, I am born to be free. With this, I appeal to everyone reading this. Do not command me to do stuff, if I don't like it, I will never do it.

Reading Eileen's blog, I see her resentment for the bazaar. During the bazaar, everyone was so eager to help out. So much that I kind of got kicked around a bit as I wasn't really needed. I'm not really a crafts person anyway, so it didn't really matter much. Now, Eileen has to do everything by herself! What happened to the over-zealous people who poked their nose into this situation in the first place. Is it fair? I may not be in a position to say much. But at least I made time to go all the way down to Bugis to purchase the felt. I can't stay back because of all the activities I've been having this week. You know, if someone actually tells me to do something instead of just shoving me away, maybe I might actually find it worth my time to help out. But the strange thing is, no one asks. Sometimes, it feels bad to be forgotten.

*written @ 9:22 午後.